| i am condensing as we do not speak... the void...is becoming my new home i become a region of space from which nothing can escape, i make art frantically, possessed, something so demanding, that i do not fully comprehend, maybe i know less about it than my own fingerprint... and of that i know nothing... i make art frantically, but nothing leaves. i only make. and where nothing is the very thing itself i become nothing. only a channel. i tell u i'm leaving because u shouldn't get sucked in with me... i don't know how long it will take, i have to let go of everything feel it and let it go watch it escape into the clear air crisp, alive, burnished only with sunlight u who have been my friends, family in the name of underground, u know the weight of the worlds on my back... tho my heart is so grateful to u for trust, devotion, and love i must go. i will make new rituals ones for healing ....compassion ...knowing all is divine... clarity ... acceptance ... braver happiness ...and cheerful endurance... and i won't forget to laugh, all the intent and extreme energies they do let me laugh sometimes, sometimes often, often at myself and my intent and extreme energies... and i will feel suffering that is very much inevitable and out of those terrible scars forgetting them i will create ... manifest ... reflecting nothing and then finally coalesce anew from this isolation what wings i may have grown what roots i may have put into the clouds what laws of earth i may have transcended... (those things that make me who i am not) and i want to be reminded of who i am i am condensing as we do not speak i want to remember how much power i contain in only a delicate movement in any direction, for the summer i will be in a cabin out of range if you have something to say or ask, just wait til fall... i am allowing myself to become the void i want to learn that i am never alone.... but to do so i must be alone really i want to learn that there may be nothing to learn and i must experience this as well... i am there to write, to paint, to write the paintings, and paint the writings purge myself of these ecstatic beyond insanity visions and perhaps i can form something bring these things out from the ether make solid the dreams stuck in the hot wet curves of my brain and eventually show it to u... love & ruckus. whatever u need is already there... love & silence. whatever u need is already there... love & love |
| lotusalley |
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